Some days you feel unmotivated. Or simply just tired and unfocused.

I know, I’ve been there too many times to count.

So to help you and myself out on such days I’d like to share 160 of the most positive, recharging and motivational quotes for work.

Ones that will give you a boost of energy. Relieve a bit of your stress and overwhelm.

And give you the inspiration to work hard today and to go after your goals and dreams.

Motivational Quotes for Work to Give You a Boost of Energy

“You’ve got to get up every morning with determination if you’re going to go to bed with satisfaction.”
– George Lorimer

“Don’t count the days, make the days count.”
– Muhammad Ali

“Either you run the day or the day runs you.”
– Jim Rohn

“Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work in hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.”
– Alexander Graham Bell

“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”
– Napoleon Hill

“When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”
– Paulo Coelho

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.”
– Robert Louis Stevenson

“Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.”
– Dalai Lama

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.”
– Henry Ford

“The future depends on what you do today.”
– Mahatma Gandhi

“Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.”
– Abraham Lincoln

“Start by doing what’s necessary, then what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.”
– Saint Francis

“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
– Martin Luther King, Jr.

“This is the real secret of life – to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.”
– Alan Wilson Watts

“Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly.”
– Stephen R. Covey

“Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value.”
– Albert Einstein

“Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.”
– Farrah Gray

“The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.”
– Steve Jobs

“All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.”
– Walt Disney

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
– Wayne Gretzky

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”
– Nelson Mandela

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.”
– Peter Drucker

“Be so good they can’t ignore you.”
– Steve Martin

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.”
– Albert Schweitzer

“Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.”
– Lou Holtz

“We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.”
– Marie Curie

“Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.”
– Michael Jordan

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”
– Anne Frank

“The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.”
– Confucius

“The best way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.”
– Walt Disney

Short and Motivational Quotes to Help You Work Smart

“Every moment is a fresh beginning.”
– T.S. Eliot

“Think of many things; do one.”
– Portuguese Proverb

“Nothing is less productive than to make more efficient what should not be done at all.”
– Peter Drucker

“Impossible is just an opinion.”
– Paulo Coelho

“The most effective way to do it is to do it.”
– Amelia Earhart

“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”
– Will Rogers

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.”
– George Eliot

“Done is better than perfect.”
– Sheryl Sandberg

“Small progress is still progress.”
– Tony Robbins

“Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.”
– Tim Notke

“Work smarter, not harder.”
– Allen F. Morgenstern

“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”
– Suzy Kassem

“What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.”
– Ralph Marston

“Light tomorrow with today.”
– Elizabeth Barrett Browning

“The best revenge is massive success.”
– Frank Sinatra

“If you can’t stop thinking about it, don’t stop working on it.”
– Michael Jordan

“Dream big and dare to fail.”
– Norman Vaughan

“Whatever you are, be a good one.”
– Abraham Lincoln

“There is no substitute for hard work.”
– Thomas Edison

“Stay hungry. Stay foolish.”
– Steve Jobs

“Don’t be busy. Be productive.”
– Tim Ferriss

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”
– Mark Twain

“Make each day your masterpiece.”
– John Wooden

“Action is the foundational key to all success.”
– Pablo Picasso

“It is not a daily increase, but a daily decrease. Hack away at the inessentials.”
– Bruce Lee

Funny Motivational Quotes for Stress Relief at Work

“If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.’”
– Dave Barry

“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.”
– Bertrand Russell

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”
– Zig Ziglar

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
– Charles Lamb

“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.”
– John Gotti

“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.”
– Oscar Wilde

“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
– Jerome K. Jerome

“The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.”
– Stanley J. Randall

“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired.”
– Michel Tournier

“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.”
– Sarah Brown

“The reward for good work is more work.”
– Tom Sachs

“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.”
– Earl Nightingale

“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.”
– Claude McDonald

“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.”
– Leslie Nielsen

“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.”
– Douglas Adams

“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?”
– Edgar Bergen

“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”
– Bill Gates

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”
– Lily Tomlin

“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.”
– Bill Murray

“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.”
– Robert Frost

Positive and Motivational Work Sayings for Tough Days

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”
– Mary Anne Radmacher

“Keep your face always toward the sunshine, and shadows will fall behind you.”
– Walt Whitman

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.”
– Carrie Fisher

“Spend eighty percent of your time focusing on the opportunities of tomorrow rather than the problems of yesterday.”
– Brian Tracy

“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.”
– Harriet Beecher Stowe

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”
– Dale Carnegie

“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”
– Truman Capote

“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.”
– Peter Marshall

“Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again.”
– Richard Branson

“I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value.”
– Hermann Hesse

“The best way out is always through.”
– Robert Frost

“As long as they are well-intentioned, mistakes are not a matter for shame, but for learning.”
– Margaret Heffernan

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
– C.S. Lewis

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”
– Arnold Schwarzenegger

“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.”
– Maya Angelou

“The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work.”
– Harry Golden

“The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.”
– Barack Obama

“Tough times never last, but tough people do.”
– Robert Schuller

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.”
– Helen Keller

“Rise above the storm, and you will find the sunshine.”
– Mario Fernandez

“Believe you can, and you’re halfway there.”
– Theodore Roosevelt

“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.”
– Michael Altshuler

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”
– Maya Angelou

“Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”
– Albert Einstein

“The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.”
– Moliere

“Turn your wounds into wisdom.”
– Oprah Winfrey

“Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.”
– Anthony J. D’Angelo

“Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious. And however difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at.”
– Stephen Hawking

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”
– Charles R. Swindoll

“Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald

Motivational Quotes for Smooth and Effective Teamwork

“Individual commitment to a group effort – that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work.”
– Vince Lombardi

“To build a strong team, you must see someone else’s strength as a complement to your weakness and not a threat to your position or authority.”
– Christine Caine

“Many ideas grow better when transplanted into another mind than the one where they sprang up.”
– Oliver Wendell Holmes

“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”
– African Proverb

“A successful team is a group of many hands but of one mind.”
– Bill Bethel

“Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you, spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life forever.”
– Amy Poehler

“Strength lies in differences, not in similarities.”
– Stephen R. Covey

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”
– Margaret Mead

“The way a team plays as a whole determines its success. You may have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world, but if they don’t play together, the club won’t be worth a dime.”
– Babe Ruth

“Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. The ability to direct individual accomplishments toward organizational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.”
– Andrew Carnegie

“Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.”
– Henry Ford

“A team is not a group of people who work together but a team is a group of people who trust each other.”
– Simon Sinek

“It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.”
– Napoleon Hill

“No one can whistle a symphony. It takes a whole orchestra to play it.”
– H.E. Luccock

“If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.”
– Booker T. Washington

“Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence win championships.”
– Michael Jordan

“In teamwork, silence isn’t golden, it’s deadly.”
– Mark Sanborn

“Collaboration allows us to know more than we are capable of knowing by ourselves.”
– Paul Solarz

“It’s amazing how much you can accomplish when it doesn’t matter who gets the credit.”
– Harry S. Truman

“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.”
– Helen Keller

“Great things in business are never done by one person; they’re done by a team of people.”
– Steve Jobs

“If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself.”
– Henry Ford

“The strength of the team is each individual member. The strength of each member is the team.”
– Phil Jackson

“Individually, we are one drop. Together, we are an ocean.”
– Ryunosuke Satoro

“The secret is to work less as individuals and more as a team.”
– Knute Rockne

“No matter how brilliant your mind or strategy, if you’re playing a solo game, you’ll always lose out to a team.”
– Reid Hoffman

“We may have all come on different ships, but we’re in the same boat now.”
– Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Surround yourself with a trusted and loyal team. It makes all the difference.”
– Alison Pincus

“The path to greatness is along with others.”
– Baltasar Gracian

“Teamwork makes the dream work.”
– John Maxwell

Inspirational Quotes on Hard Work and Success

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”
– Calvin Coolidge

“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”
– Zig Ziglar

“Work hard in silence, let success be your noise.”
– Frank Ocean

“I’m a greater believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.”
– Thomas Jefferson

“Success isn’t always about greatness. It’s about consistency. Consistent hard work leads to success. Greatness will come.”
– Dwayne Johnson

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
– Thomas Edison

“The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.”
– Vince Lombardi

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.”
– Amelia Earhart

“Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.”
– Robert Collier

“There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.”
– Beverly Sills

“Happiness is the real sense of fulfillment that comes from hard work.”
– Joseph Barbara

“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.”
– Joe Girard

“Quality means doing it right when no one is looking.”
– Henry Ford

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit.”
– Aristotle

“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.”
– Vincent Van Gogh

“Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goals: my strength lies solely in my tenacity.”
– Louis Pasteur

“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.”
– Colin Powell

“Great things come from hard work and perseverance. No excuses.”
– Kobe Bryant

“Work hard, have fun, make history.”
– Jeff Bezos

“The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.”
– Vidal Sassoon

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
– Winston Churchill

“Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity.”
– Seneca

“There is no magic to achievement. It’s really about hard work, choices, and persistence.”
– Michelle Obama

“If you do the work, you get rewarded. There are no shortcuts in life.”
– Michael Jordan

“Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.”
– Conrad Hilton

Want more motivation and less stress? Then check out these short work quotes, the hard work quotes in this post and also this one with hilarious work quotes for more laughs and less stress.

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Sometimes what is needed to find new motivation or energy is not deep wisdom or a pep talk.

Instead, what works best on some days is simply to take a laugh break and focus on having fun for a few minutes to release stress,  lighten up and not take things too seriously.

And in today’s post I want to help you with that by sharing 160 of the most positive, stress reducing and funny inspirational quotes.

I hope you’ll find a bunch of laughs, a more relaxed perspective and a jolt of positivity here.

Funny Inspirational Quotes on Life That’ll Make You Laugh

“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.”
– Will Rogers

“You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it’s your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You’re probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you’re gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.”
– Chris Rock

“Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.”
– Helen Rowland

“I may be a living legend, but that sure don’t help when I’ve got to change a flat tire.”
– Roy Orbison

“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”
– Bill Watterson

“A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future.”
– Denis Waitley

“As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.”
– Sir Norman Wisdom

“I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade, and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”
– Ron White

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”
– Zig Ziglar

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”
– Abraham Lincoln

“A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
– Mark Twain

“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself.”
– Ethel Barrymore

“Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.”
– Benjamin Franklin

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”
– Albert Einstein

“When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’”
– Sydney J. Harris

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”
– Dalai Lama

“Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.”
– Cullen Hightower

“Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.”
– George Carlin

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
– Jack Handey

“Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring? I said: ‘How to Build a Boat.’”
– Steven Wright

“Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.”
– Francois de La Rochefoucauld

“Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers.”
– Socrates

“The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.”
– Tom Clancy

“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
– George Carlin

“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”
– Winston Churchill

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
– Mark Twain

“Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.”
– Tom Lehrer

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
– Elbert Hubbard

“Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise, we’re going down the tube.”
– Joan Rivers

Funny Motivational Quotes for Work and Success

“When you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it.”
– Theodore Roosevelt

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.”
– Drew Carey

“Some people see things that are and ask, ‘Why?’ Some people dream of things that never were and ask, ‘Why not?’ Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.”
– George Carlin

“Whatever you do, always give 100% – unless you’re donating blood.”
– Bill Murray

“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.”
– Joe Girard

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
– Thomas A. Edison

“Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.”
– Albert Einstein

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.”
– W. C. Fields

“The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.”
– Scott Adams

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life… because that field probably isn’t hiring.”
– Dorothy Parker

“By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.”
– Robert Frost

“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
– Jerome K. Jerome

“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.”
– Sam Levenson

“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”
– George Carlin

“The reward for work well done is more work.”
– Jim Butcher

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
– Douglas Adams

“I cannot afford to waste my time making money.”
– Louis Agassiz

“It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you did it wrong.”
– Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.”
– Sarah Brown

“I like to work in the morning. I just don’t like to be awake while I’m doing it.”
– Nora Ephron

“Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.”
– Dwight D. Eisenhower

“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?”
– Edgar Bergen

“The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.”
– Vidal Sassoon

“Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.”
– George Burns

“Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.”
– Paula Poundstone

“Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion.”
– Tina Fey

“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.”
– Robert Orben

“No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early.”
– Groucho Marx

Short and Funny Inspirational Quotes

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
– George Burns

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.”
– Mark Twain

“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.”
– Katharine Hepburn

“Be happy, it drives people crazy.”
– Paulo Coelho

“I’d like to live as a poor man with lots of money.”
– Pablo Picasso

“Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.”
– Josh Billings

“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
– Charles M. Schulz

“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
– Erma Bombeck

“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”
– Steven Wright

“A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”
– Groucho Marx

“It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.”
– Ashleigh Brilliant

“Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.”
– James A. Garfield

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
– Jim Carrey

“If any of you cry at my funeral, I’ll never speak to you again.”
– Stan Laurel

“Don’t be so humble – you are not that great.”
– Golda Meir

“If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.”
– George Burns

“Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.”
– Anthony Burgess

“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams

“If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.”
– Billy Wilder

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”
– Phyllis Diller

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
– Oscar Wilde

“If you can’t convince them, confuse them.”
– Harry S. Truman

“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”
– Truman Capote

“The most effective way to do it is to do it.”
– Amelia Earhart

“Bad decisions make good stories.”
– Ellis Vidler

“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?”
– Steven Wright

Funny Inspirational Quotes for Your Morning

“There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up.”
– Kristen Chandler

“I love the early hours of the day. It’s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there.”
– James Lileks

“Thank you, 2:30 in the morning, for always being the first sign that tomorrow’s gonna suck.”
– Jimmy Fallon

“Mornings are almost clean slates. I say almost because the residue of yesterday’s is sometimes stuck on them.”
– Medeia Sharif

“Be the person your coffee thinks you are.”
– Liz Vassey

“Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon.”
– Tony Smite

“Morning will come, it has no choice.”
– Marty Rubin

“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.”
– Robert Frost

“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.”
– Glen Cook

“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”
– Dorothy Parker

“I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world.”
– E. B. White

“The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.”
– Jean Kerr

“Lose an hour in the morning, and you will spend all day looking for it.”
– Richard Whately

“Keep the dream alive: hit the snooze button.”
– Punit Ghadge

“No alarm clock needed, surely my passion will wake me up.”
– Sandra Shea

“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.”
– Dale Carnegie

“Good morning is a contradiction of terms.”
– Jim Davis

Funny and Inspirational Sayings on Love and Friendship

“There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.”
– Sylvia Plath

“A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.”
– Arnold H. Glasgow

“A true friend is someone who thinks you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.”
– Bernard Meltzer

“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.”
– Will Ferrell

“Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.”
– Greg Tamblyn

“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.”
– Linda Grayson

“Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.”
– Jerry Seinfeld

“When I eventually met Mr. Right, I had no idea that his first name was Always.”
– Rita Rudner

“There are few things in life harder to find and more important to keep than love. Well, love and a birth certificate.”
– Barack Obama

“Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.”
– Richard Jeni

“When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.”
– Richard Lewis

“You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.”
– Henry Youngman

“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?”
– Lily Tomlin

“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.”
– Mae West

“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
– Rita Rudner

“Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby – awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.”
– Lemony Snicket

“Marriage: a friendship recognized by the police.”
– Robert Louis Stevenson

“Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.”
– Jules Renard

“By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you will be happy. If you get a bad one, you will be a philosopher.”
– Socrates

“Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.”
– Carroll Bryant

“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.”
– Erich Segal

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
– Charles M. Schulz

“Remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming: you have to start over again every morning.”
– H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.”
– Erma Bombeck

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”
– Oprah Winfrey

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What? You too? I thought I was the only one!’”
– C. S. Lewis

“When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun.’”
– Groucho Marx

Inspirational and Hilarious Quotes from Movies and TV

“If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.”
– Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

“Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That’s one of my mottos.”
– Stanley Hudson (from the TV-show The Office)

“What am I scared of? I’m scared of the same thing that you are: everything.”
– George Costanza (from the TV-show Seinfeld)

“We need to remember what’s important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn’t matter, but work is third.”
– Leslie Knope (from the TV-show Parks and Recreation)

“I learned a long time ago that worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”
– National Lampoon’s Van Wilder

“The suspense is terrible. I hope it’ll last.”
– Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory

“If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.”
– Dodgeball

“A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it’s the only weapon we have.”
– Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

“I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.”
– Sex and the City

“My mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”
– Forrest Gump

“Just keep swimming.”
– Finding Nemo

“Well, nobody’s perfect.”
– Some Like It Hot

“A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.”
– Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

“You want to get out of the hole? First you’re going to have to put down the shovel.”
– Incredibles 2

“Your soul is like your appendix — I don’t even use it!”
– Michael Kelso (from the TV-show That ’70s Show)

“I’m a bit of a sucker for second chances. They’re my first favorite kind of chance.”
– Jessica Day (from the TV-show New Girl)

“Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV.”
– Morty (from the TV-show Rick and Morty)

“Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I’ll find it along the way.”
– Michael Scott (from the TV-show The Office)

“I’m not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”
– Chandler Bing (from the TV-show Friends)

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
– Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

“Why, sometimes I’ve believed six impossible things before breakfast.”
– Alice in Wonderland

“To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”
– Homer Simpson (from the TV-show The Simpsons)

“I don’t make the rules, ma’am. I just think them up and write them down.”
– Eric Cartman (from the TV-show South Park)

“Fate is just what you call it when you don’t know the name of the person screwing you over.”
– Lois, Malcolm in the Middle

“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I read that one on a can of lemonade. I like to think it applies to life.”
– Andy Dwyer (from the TV-show Parks and Recreation)

“I love a good nap. Sometimes it’s the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning.”
– George Costanza (from the TV-show Seinfeld)

“Today is a good day to try.”
– The Hunchback of Notre Dame

“Here’s some advice I wish I woulda got when I was your age: live every week like it’s Shark Week.”
– Tracy Jordan (from the TV-show 30 Rock)

“If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.”
– Jerry Seinfeld (from the TV-show Seinfeld)

“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.”
– Homer Simpson (from the TV-show The Simpsons)

Want more laughs and positive energy? Then have a look at these sarcastic quotes about life, the hilarious quotes about work here and also this one with funny quotes about getting old.

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