Easter.

A time of spring warmth, sunshine and quality time with the people we love.

But also a time of eating way too much chocolate and egg hunts that become more and more elaborate and competitive each year.

And in today’s post I want to help you to make this holiday even better by sharing 60 of the wittiest and most funny Easter quotes.

I hope you’ll find something here that will make you and the people closest to you laugh and make this Easter into a happy and fun one.

Funny Easter Quotes for a Happy Holiday

“I still believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and true love. Don’t even try to tell me different.”
– Dolly Parton

“Two thousand years ago, Jesus is crucified. Three days later, he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps, and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.”
– Billy Crystal

“I lied on my Weight Watchers list. I put down that I had three eggs… but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs.”
– Caroline Rhea

“Here’s for me the one big question: How do you get Crucifixion, Resurrection and then chocolate bunnies, colored eggs? How do you do that one? Even kids are going, ‘Rabbits don’t lay eggs. What is this?’”
– Robin Williams

“Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through Lent, and what do you get for it? A ham.”
– Garrison Keillor

“A guy comes down to earth, takes your sins, dies, and comes back three days later. You believe in him and go to heaven forever. How do you get from that to Hide-The-Eggs? Did Jesus have a problem with eggs? Did he go, ‘When I come back, if I see any eggs, the whole salvation thing is off?’”
– Jon Stewart

“I was over in Australia during Easter, which was really interesting. You know, they celebrate Easter the exact same way we do, commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children that a giant bunny rabbit… left chocolate eggs in the night.”
– Bill Hicks

“My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don’t know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.”
– Adam Ferrara

“Happy Easter everyone! Jesus dies, comes back from the dead — and we get chocolate eggs. It’s like turn-down service from God.”
– Denis Leary

“The real reason Easter is on a different day each year is because sometimes it’s difficult to remember which lie you told.”
– Jimmy Carr

“The Easter Bunny ate all of the carrots we left for him. What a pig.”
– Steve Carell

“Every Easter, my wife hides chocolate eggs around the house. And every August, I find one behind the couch and enjoy its melty and dusty goodness.”
– Unknown

“That first Easter must have been awkward, because you know the apostles had already divided up Jesus’ stuff.”
– William Ader

“Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the Winter Olympics.”
– Marvin Olasky

Short and Funny Easter Quotes

“Good idea: Finding Easter eggs on Easter. Bad idea: Finding Easter eggs on Christmas.”
– Jack Handey

“Easter is the only time when it’s perfectly safe to put all your eggs in one basket.”
– Evan Esar

“Easter has been cancelled – they found the body.”
– Jim Butcher

“All excited for Easter. The cross is up and completely decorated.”
– Albert Brooks

“Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe filled with slush.”
– Doug Larson

“Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won’t stay there.”
– Clarence W. Hall

“Easter: Hide and Seek with eggs.”
– Melanie White

“I wanted to give up my children for Lent, but nobody would take them.”
– Melanie White

“You know what I’m doing for Easter? I’m gonna be hanging with my Peeps.”
– Jay Leno

“Despite the forecast, live like it’s spring.”
– Lilly Pulitzer

“You can tell a lot about a fellow’s character by the way he eats jelly beans.”
– Ronald Reagan

“Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’”
– Robin Williams

“Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter.”
– Benjamin Franklin

“Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.”
– Fran Lebowitz

Hilarious Easter Quotes That Will Make You Laugh

“When you’re grown up you realize that it’s not the number of Easter eggs you find that’s important, but how many are dark chocolate.”
– Melanie White

“My mom asked me what I’m doing at Easter. I said the same as Jesus – going out Friday, coming back Monday.”
– Unknown

“I was fairly traumatized the first time my parents gave me a hollow chocolate bunny for Easter. I was 27, but still.”
– Just Bill

“They have Easter egg hunts in Philadelphia, and if the kids don’t find the eggs, they get booed.”
– Bob Uecker

“My father was so cheap. Every Easter we’d wear the same clothes, but he’d take us to a different church.”
– A.J. Jamal

“My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.”
– Amy Sedaris

“Here’s the problem with Easter. The Catholic Church needs to pick a date because it keeps moving. And I think the reason they always have Easter moving to different dates is to catch us.”
– Denis Leary

“Easter combines the best of the present with the traditions of the past – like Cadbury cream eggs with hunting and gathering.”
– Melanie White

“Easter is of course to celebrate Jesus returning from the dead. Fair enough, it is difficult to resist a packet of mini eggs, isn’t it?”
– Jimmy Carr

“Easter shopping tip: When buying your daughter that frilly new Easter dress, try to visualize how it’ll look with chocolate and grass stains all over it.”
– Melanie White

“If you believe in the Easter Bunny, it means you believe in a fat, purple bunny, which is pooping multicolor eggs in your garden.”
– Alex Antunes

“Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines.”
– Fred Allen

“Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.”
– Henny Youngman

“Lent was invented so Catholics could take another shot at their New Year’s resolutions.”
– Melanie White

“Tell the chocolate bunny I’ll pass. I have enough men in my life who are hollow and disappointing.”
– Unknown

Funny Easter Quotes for Family and Friends

“A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even if you’re cracked.”
– Bernard Meltzer

“All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt!”
– Charles M. Schulz

“Forget the Easter Bunny. I need one that can do me some good — like the Energizer Bunny.”
– Melanie White

“Egg hunts are proof that your children can find things when they really want to.”
– Unknown

“Easter is a time for dressing up, looking your best, and hunting for candy. It’s Halloween in reverse!”
– Melanie White

“I’m a little hoarse tonight. I’ve been living off of Easter candy and Peeps. Sugar and yellow dye number five.”
– Stephen Colbert

“No presents for Christmas? That’s like Easter without high-stakes poker.”
– Steven Levitan

“If you see a rabbit laying little brown eggs, don’t eat them. It’s not chocolate!”
– Unknown

“Easter may not take the cake, but it does take all the cake coloring.”
– Melanie White

“It’s Easter, and they already have the Christmas decorations up.”
– Sally (from Charlie Brown)

“After the egg hunt on Easter Sunday, a young farm boy decided to play a prank. He went to the chicken coop and replaced every single egg with a brightly colored one.”
– Jim Kraus

“There’s nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate.”
– Linda Grayson

Want more inspiration for Easter and spring? Then have a look at these inspirational Easter quotes, the funny spring quotes here and also this one with plenty of short Easter quotes.

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It’s been a long and cold winter, but March is finally here.

With the promise of brighter days and fresh starts.

It’s a month with one foot in the cold and often unmotivated winter and the other in the warmth, optimism and hope of spring.

So in today’s post I’d like to share 101 of the most positive, inspirational and funny short March quotes.

I hope you’ll find something here to make this month and your spring a happy, fun and successful one.

Short and Positive March Quotes for a Happy Month

“Flowers and colours everywhere, I am so glad that March is here.”
– Anamika Mishra

“March is a tomboy with tousled hair, a mischievous smile, mud on her shoes, and a laugh in her voice.”
– Hal Borland

“Nothing ever seems impossible in spring, you know.”
– L.M. Montgomery

“I love March as it gives me hope that new beginnings are always beautiful.”
– Anamika Mishra

“March came in that winter like the meekest and mildest of lambs, bringing days that were crisp and golden and tingling.”
– L.M. Montgomery

“By March, the worst of winter is over. And so hope springs once more and calls on us to make real the dreams of winter.”
– Unknown

“The earth laughs in flowers.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

“March brings breezes loud and shrill, stirs the dancing daffodil.”
– Sara Coleridge

“Where flowers bloom so does hope.”
– Lady Bird Johnson

“This is the perfume of March: rain, loam, feathers, mint.”
– Lisa Kleypas

“A flower blossoms for its own joy.”
– Oscar Wilde

“You are reborn with the roses, in every spring.”
– Juan Ramón Jiménez

“Happiness? The color of it must be spring green.”
– Frances Mayes

“Spring shows what God can do with a drab and dirty world.”
– Virgil A. Kraft

“The world’s favorite season is spring because now all things seem possible.”
– Unknown

“There are always flowers for those who want to see them.”
– Henri Matisse

“Flowers always make people better, happier, and more hopeful.”
– Luther Burbank

“When one flower blooms, spring awakens everywhere.”
– John O’Donohue

“Blossom by blossom the spring begins.”
– Algernon Charles Swinburne

“To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.”
– Audrey Hepburn

“Spring adds new life and new beauty to all that is.”
– Jessica Harrelson

“The deep roots never doubt spring will come.”
– Marty Rubin

“No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn.”
– Hal Borland

Short and Motivational March Quotes for Work and School

“In winter, I plot and plan. In spring, I move.”
– Henry Rollins

“Only those with tenacity can march forward in March.”
– Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

“Do the right things rather than the urgent things in March and you’re off to a great start to your spring.”
– Unknown

“Spring work is going on with joyful enthusiasm.”
– John Muir

“March, when days are getting long, let thy growing hours be strong to set right some wintry wrong.”
– Caroline May

“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.”
– Lao Tzu

“Spring is the time of plans and projects.”
– Leo Tolstoy

“You gotta bloom where you’re planted.”
– Dolly Parton

“The spring wakes us, nurtures us, and revitalizes us.”
– Gary Zukav

“From the end spring new beginnings.”
– Pliny The Elder

“The magic in new beginnings is truly the most powerful of them all.”
– Josiyah Martin

“The warmth and sunshine of the finest March days awakens a new hope and source of energy in many of us.”
– Jim Harper

“It is only the farmer who faithfully plants seeds in the spring who reaps a harvest in the autumn.”
– B. C. Forbes

“Garden as though you will live forever.”
– William Kent

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”
– Lao Tzu

“Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.”
– Anthony J. D’Angelo

“Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come.”
– Robert H. Schuller

Funny Short March Quotes for a Less Stressful Spring

“In the spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.”
– Mark Twain

“I try not to limit my madness to March.”
– Maxine

“Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.”
– Doug Larson

“March is the month God created to show people who don’t drink what a hangover is like.”
– Garrison Keillor

“Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’”
– Robin Williams

“Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes. The wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year.”
– Ogden Nash

“March 4th, the only day that’s also a sentence.”
– John Green

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
– Steve Martin

“Gardening requires lots of water – most of it in the form of perspiration.”
– Louise Erickson

“The early bird gets the worm but the late bird doesn’t even get the late worm.”
– Charles M. Schulz

“Despite the forecast, live like it’s Spring.”
– Lilly Pulitzer

“People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do: I stare out the window and wait for spring.”
– Rogers Hornsby

“Spring being a tough act to follow, God created June.”
– Al Bernstein

“Everybody wants to save the earth; no one wants to help mom do the dishes.”
– P.J. O’Rourke (on Earth Day)

“Spring is the only revolutionary whose revolution has succeeded.”
– Marianne van Hirtum

“The first day of spring is one thing, and the first spring day is another. The difference between them is sometimes as great as a month.”
– Henry Van Dyke

“Poor, dear, silly Spring, preparing her annual surprise!”
– Wallace Stevens

“A little madness in the spring is wholesome even for the King.”
– Emily Dickinson

“Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything’s dying.”
– George Carlin

“Yes, I deserve a spring – I owe nobody nothing.”
– Virginia Woolf

Short Hello March Quotes for Your Letter Board

“Springtime is the land awakening. The March winds are the morning yawn.”
– Lewis Grizzard

“Our life is March weather, savage and serene in one hour.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

“If winter comes, can spring be far behind?”
– Percy Bysshe Shelley

“March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb.”
– English Proverb

“March is the month of expectation.”
– Emily Dickinson

“March bustles in on windy feet and sweeps my doorstep and my street.”
– Susan Reiner

“It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade.”
– Charles Dickens

“In March winter is holding back and spring is pulling forward. Something holds and something pulls inside of us too.”
– Jean Hersey

“A light exists in spring, not present in the year at any other period when March is scarcely here.”
– Emily Dickinson

“If you’ve never been thrilled to the very edges of your soul by a flower in spring bloom, maybe your soul has never been in bloom.”
– Audra Foveo

“Daffodils, that come before the swallow dares, and take the winds of March with beauty.”
– William Shakespeare

“To welcome her the spring breath’s forth Elysian sweets; March strews the Earth with violets and posies.”
– Edmund Waller

“In March the soft rains continued, and each storm waited courteously until its predecessor sunk beneath the ground.”
– John Steinbeck

“One swallow does not make a summer, but one skein of geese, cleaving the murk of March thaw, is the spring.”
– Aldo Leopold

“March winds and April showers bring forth May flowers.”
– English Proverb

“Every cold and dark phase ends and hence begins a beautiful phase of warmth and vibrance. Just notice March.”
– Anamika Mishra

“March: Its motto, courage and strength in times of danger.”
– William Morris

“A windy March is lucky. Every pint of March dust brings a peck of September corn, and a pound of October cotton.”
– Julia Peterkin

“A cloud comes over the sunlit arch, a wind comes off a frozen peak, and you’re two months back in the middle of March.”
– Robert Frost

“How terrible a time is the beginning of March. You have to take spring on blind faith.”
– Beatriz Williams

“The stormy March has come at last, with winds and clouds and changing skies.”
– William C. Bryant

Short and Inspirational Welcome March Quotes for Your Instagram

“Spring will come, and so will happiness. Hold on. Life will get warmer.”
– Anita Krizzan

“You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep spring from coming.”
– Pablo Neruda

“No matter what your March day may bring, live like it’s spring.”
– Unknown

“Winter is on my head, but eternal spring is in my heart.”
– Victor Hugo

“I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather that God has to offer.”
– Dodie Smith

“Just living is not enough – one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.”
– Hans Christian Andersen

“The beautiful spring came, and when nature resumes her loveliness, the human soul is apt to revive also.”
– Harriet Ann Jacobs

“I enjoy the spring more than the autumn now. One does, I think, as one gets older.”
– Virginia Woolf

“With the coming of spring, I am calm again.”
– Gustav Mahler

“When spring came, even the false spring, there were no problems except where to be happiest.”
– Ernest Hemingway

“Spring won’t let me stay in this house any longer! I must get out and breathe the air deeply again.”
– Gustav Mahler

“That is one good thing about this world – there are always sure to be more springs.”
– L.M. Montgomery

“If people did not love one another, I really don’t see what use there would be in having any spring.”
– Victor Hugo

“If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant.”
– Anne Bradstreet

“Spring is when life’s alive in everything.”
– Christina Rossetti

“Always it’s spring and everyone’s in love and flowers pick themselves.”
– E.E. Cummings

“In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.”
– Margaret Atwood

“The promise of spring’s arrival is enough to get anyone through the bitter winter.”
– Jen Selinsky

“It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart.”
– Rainer Maria Rilke

“You’re only here for a short visit. Don’t hurry. Don’t worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.”
– Walter C. Hagen

Want more inspiration and positive energy for your month and spring? Then check out these inspirational spring quotes, the funny spring quotes and sayings here and also this one with uplifting and positive March quotes.

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